W: Henry, they say that adolescence is the time when people begin to get most pressure from their peers. Do you
think that's true?
M: What I've seen is that adolescence is the time when the pressure begins to shift from the family and the school to friends. I think it begins about eleven, but comes into full bloom at about thirteen, fourteen.
W: What actually happens then?
M: Well the first thing you see is that adolescents begin to make fashion statements. And certainly those ideas don't come from you. You can tell at a glance that they don't come from you! Like wearing baggy pants that look like they're falling down, and, you know, piercing their ears. My younger son began to ask if he could dye his hair blue.
W: And what did you say?
M: We said when he was a little older he could make that decision, with the hope that fad would have passed out of style.
W: OK, but where would you draw the line? I mean, you'd let him wear baggy pants, but would you let him dye his hair?
M: I think in the end. I would. But not without a fight.
W: So, what other things happen?
M: Well, as the kids get older you start to lose them, because they're always talking on the phone, or talking online, or doing other things. Twitter, facebook and so on. Even when they're home -- they're in their room most of the time talking on the phone -- and not just talking on the phone. They might be talking to one person on the phone and two other people online. And the only thing you know for sure is they're not talking to you!
W: Do you think this is all normal behavior? I mean, should you be trying to monitor it?
M: I think both. It's healthy to develop your own values, your own tastes. But I also think that parents should be monitoring it. When it's a question of fashion, that's OK. Where you draw the line is when they're doing something dangerous, or illegal-drugs, smoking, drinking.
W: Is there any advice you could give parents?
M: Well, one thing is to think back to your own experience as a teenager. I must say I find myself repeating the same annoying language my father used with me. I have to try to remember not to do that. So how you talk to your kids is important.
W: Yes, and it's hard to watch your kids doing things you don't want them to do. For example, my kids are into video games, and I can't find any value whatsoever in these games. But I think that you don't have to like everything your kids do. As long as it's not dangerous or illegal.
关于青少年时期为问题
05 1603 - Retirement
Everyone will become old and retire someday, so it's never too soon for you to consider retiremenit decisions. If you're looking for insights into effective retirement decisions, one of the best things you can do is ask current retirees -- those who have already retired -- what actions they took that they're most happy about and what they regret the most. They should have a lot of credibility, and their answers can give you compelling real-life examples of the consequences of good and bad decisions.
When it comes to steps people were glad they took, here are some common survey responses, for example, living modestly, paying off their mortgage before retirement and staying with a job that offered a traditional defined benefit pension plan.
Moreover, our surveys have found the following steps to retirement happiness as reported by retirees: creating a retirement budget, making new friends, focusing on relationships with spouses, developing new hobbies or interests, and creating a vision for life in retirement.
Many people are worried if they can live a decent life on their pensions once they retire. In essence. your finances are as important as your emotions and your physical health, and it's normal to feel stressed before retirement. But according to a survey done earlier this year, many retirees say once they've retired. they feel less stressed because they've figured out how to manage their finances.
Next, let's talk about some of the common regrets reported from our surveys:
* Our surveys show that the top regret is starting to save for retirement too late and saving too little. This could be the result of not making retirement savings a priority, as reported by 81 percent pf workers.
* Another regret that people have is about their lack of savings. It is reported that more than one in five people say they'd rather “die early” than live without enough money for a comfortable retirement. That might boost your motivation to start saving!
* One survey reports that 49 percent, almost half of all respondents wished they had retired earlier. On average，they wished they had retired four years earlier than they actually did.
* But another survey reports that more than two-thirds of middle-income boomer retirees say they wish they had worked longer. These conflicting results show that you need to take this information with a large grain of salt.
* Let me provide you with a list of these common regrets, many of which I heard myself from retirees while doing my research on retirement: not retiring sooner, not doing your financial homework, not making up with friends and family sooner, not planning for all that leisure time, not kicking a bad habit sooner, such as drinking and gambling, not taking Social Security at the best time, not traveling earlier and not taking better care of your health. Whew-a tall order, but spot on.
* Other regrets include: retiring too early, expecting too much from Social Security, not having a spending plan and carrying too much debt.
Here's an idea for the coming holiday season. The next time you're with your older relatives and friends who've already retired, ask them about their regrets as well as about the steps they're glad they took to prepare for retirement. Most people are happy to share their life experience if it helps those they care about. It might be a better use of your time than discussing politics or watching football on TV.
Keep in mind that you might receive conflicting answers, or the answers may not have much relevance to you. You'll want to reflect on whether these insights make sense to you, and how they might confirm or change your plans. You have unique circumstances and life goals, and you'll reap the rewards or suffer the consequences of your decisions.
关于退休，人们后悔以及最开心的是什么？
05 1603 - Barriers
We all have problems and barriers that block out progress or prevent us from moving into new areas. We put boundaries on our experiences. We limit what we allow ourselves to be, to do, and to have.
Problem often work like barriers. When we bump up against one of our problems, we usually turn around and start walking along a different path. And all of a sudden -- bump! -- We've struck another barrier. And we turn away again.
Our problems might include the fear of speaking in front of a group, anxiety about math problems, or the reluctance to sound silly trying to speak a foreign language. We might have a barrier about looking silly when trying anything new. Some of us even have anxiety about being successful.
It's natural to have barriers, but sometimes they limit our experience so much we get bored with life. When that happens, consider the following three ways of dealing with a barrier.
One way is to pretend it doesn't exist. Avoid it, deny it, lie about it. It's like turning your head the other way, putting on a fake grin, and saying, “See, there's really no problem at all. Everything is fine. Oh, that problem. That's not a problem, it's not really there.” In addition to looking foolish, this approach leaves the barrier intact, and we keep bumping into it. We deny the barrier and might not even be aware that we're bumping into it. For example, a student who has a barrier about math might subconsciously void enriching experiences that include math.
A second approach is to fight the barrier, to struggle against it. This usually makes the barrier grow. It increases the barrier's magnitude. A person who is obsessed with weight might constantly worry about being fat. He might struggle with every day, trying diet after diet. And the more he struggles, the bigger the problem gets.
The third alternative is to love the barrier. Accept it. Totally experience it. Tell the truth about it. Describe it in detail. When you do this, the barrier loses its power. You can literally love it to death.
Suppose one of your barriers is being afraid of speaking in front of a group. You can use any of these three approaches.
First, you can get up in front of the group and pretend you're not afraid. You can fake a smile, not admiring to yourself or the group that you have any concerns about speaking -- even though your legs have turned to rubber bands and your mind is jelly. The problem is, everyone in the room will know you're scared, including you, when your hands start shaking and your voice cracks.
The second way to approach this barrier is to fight it. You could tell yourself, “I'm not going to be scared,” and then try to keep your knees fron knocking. Generally, this doesn't work. In fact, your knee-knocking might get worse.
The third approach is to get up in front of the room, look out into the audience, and say to yourself, “I am scared. I notice that my knees are shaking, my mouth feels dry, and I'm having a rush of thoughts about what might happen if I say the wrong thing. Yup, I'm scared and that's OK. As a matter of fact, it's just part of me, so I accept it, and I'm not going to try to change it. I'm going to give this speech even though I'm scared.” You might not actually eliminate the fear; however, your barrier about the fear -- which is what stops you -- could well disappear. And you might discover that if you examine the fear, love it, accept it, and totally experience it, the fear itself also disappears.
Applying this process is easier if you remember two ideas:
First, loving a problem is not necessarily the same as enjoying it. Love in this sense means total and unconditional acceptance.
Second, “unconditional acceptance” is not the same as unconditional surrender. Accepting a problem is different than giving up or escaping from it. Rather, this process involves escaping into the problem -- diving into it headfirst and getting to know it in detail. Often the most effective solutions come when we face a problem squarely, with eyes wide open. Then we can move through the problem instead of around it. When you are willing to love your problems, you drain them off much of their energy.
关于困难和障碍
06 1603 - Translation
1. When you talk to people, don't just focus on their words. Take note of their body language, voice tones, and expressions. These will tell you more about the people you are talking with.
2. Some early childhood education expert says a person's brain grows fastest in infant period. Therefore, receiving no timely preschool education during this period will be unfavorable to the future development of the children.
3. Leeds is close to the geographical centre of Britain. It is 200 miles north of London and 200 miles south of Scotland's capital -- Edinburgh. It is an ideal centre from which to visit other parts of the country.
4. Human beings live according to the precepts and principles of their culture, but they are also unique individuals. While they are socio-cultural products, they also remake and change their society and culture.
5. U.S. markets were closed Thursday for the Thanksgiving holiday, and closed at 1 p.m. on Friday. Stocks didnt't have much momentum in a week of light trading. The market made its biggest weekly gain of 2015 last week.
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