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如何优雅地拒绝别人，锦囊三条

How to Say 'No' without Looking or Feeling like A Jerk

It doesn’t always feel good to say “no, ” even when we don’t want to say “yes.”Saying “no, ” though, is necessary, for many reasons. Ivan Misner, founder of BNI, a business networking organization, shares three ways to frame your “no” so that it’s a positive experience for everyone involved:

01 You might let them down

One of Misner’s favorite ways to say “no” is to tell the person he’s afraid if he said “yes, ” he’d let them down.“You use the word ‘yes’ but you say ‘no, ’” he says. It could be that you don’t have the bandwidth and you’re overloaded. Or maybe it’s not something you’re passionate about. “Whatever the reason, the appropriate bottom line is that you’re a friend and you’re afraid you’d let them down, ” says Misner.“You don’t want to disappoint them.”

02 You know someone more qualified

If the request isn’t in your wheelhouse or if you aren’t interested in doing it, referring the person to someone more qualified can be a great resolution. “You can say ‘no’ and add, ‘However, I know somebody who loves what you’re talking about.Let me refer you to them, ’” says Misner.

03 You have another idea

If you are unable to do something that you’re being asked to do, offer the person something else instead. “I am always having people ask me to send some communication out to my entire mailing list, and the answer is always ‘no, ’” says Misner. “However, with people I know and trust, I propose something else, such as posting it on my social media instead. That generally works just as well to maintain the relationship.”